AU1 Appetite Suppressant
by Margaret Price
Summary: The Major devises the perfect plan to rid himself of Eroica forever. Or so he believes. A predictable story, a predictable ending, with some very unpredictable events...and lots of slashy goodness...along the way. Followed by a sequel..Feet Of Clay
1. The Major Has A Plan

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: This story would not have been possible without the generosity of Mosellegreen a.k.a Kadorienne, whose plot bunnies inspired it.

A predictable story, a predictable ending, with some _very_ unpredictable events--and lots of sex--along the way.

It contains, in no particular order: Sex, Drugs & Violence (OT3), Caveman!Klaus, Caveman!Dorian, Plastered!Klaus, Plastered!Dorian, Well-Hung!Klaus ;-D, Scheming!Klaus, Scheming!Dorian... Well, you get the idea.

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APPETITE SUPPRESSANT  
**By Margaret Price**

**Chapter One  
****The Major Has A Plan**

"No, I can't tell you what I need it for, Doctor," the Major stated sharply. "It's classified."

"Major, I _do_ have security clearance," the Doctor replied patiently. "And this _is_ an unusual request."

_And don't think it was easy for me to come here and make it,_ Klaus thought darkly, fixing the man with his intense gaze. To his relief, his usual intimidation tactic worked and the physician agreed to fill his request, scribbling out the prescription.

"I can only assume this is being used on a…questionable foreign agent?" the doctor said as he held out the paper.

The Major's eyes narrowed as he took the paper. He did not reply, turning on his heel and stalking from the office.

_God dammit, that was humiliating,_ Klaus thought after he had picked up the prescription, enduring the suspicious sideways glances of the pharmacist. He stormed through NATO headquarters, taking the stairs to the fifth floor two at a time. It would all be worth it if his plan worked. He'd be rid of that irritating Eroica forever.

Now all he had to do was implement it.

The Major began his operation slowly. He offhandedly remarked to Agent G that he thought the Earl was looking rather odd of late. He knew his mentioning of Eroica would immediately gain G's attention.

"I don't know what you mean, sir," G said, trying not to sound too alarmed.

The Major waved a hand dismissively. "I thought he had some trouble squeezing through the entrance. Must be wishful thinking. The faggot's too vain to let himself get fat." So saying, he quickly moved away, leaving his astonished subordinate staring after him.

This was all that was necessary to plant the seeds of rumor. He knew if everyone thought that _he _had actually noticed something about the Earl, then there _must_ be a very serious problem that they would all have to be on the alert for.

Phase one of the Major's plan was in place.

* * *

A few weeks after the Major's "offhand" remark, Eroica was hired by NATO for a relatively simple operation. Klaus tolerated his presence only because his plan seemed to be working. The Earl was spending an unusual amount of time looking at his profile in the mirror.

On this particular occasion, he was in the hotel suite that the Major was using as his base of operation. The mission had been completed without a hitch and the officer was getting all the paperwork packed up before the drive back to Bonn. Across the room, the Earl was standing in front of a full-length mirror, regarding himself carefully, patting his incredibly flat stomach and frowning. He ran his fingers along the waist of his tight fitting trousers and rubbed his buttocks as if to make certain it had not grown an inch.

The Major could not keep the small smile from coming to his face as the man did this. He gave him several minutes to worry over his looks before saying sharply, "Must you always do that?"

Eroica gave him a stunned look. He had actually forgotten the man was there. _Oh God, I'm losing my looks and my sex drive!_ "Do what?" he said in genuine surprise.

Klaus kept the disapproving look on his face. "Don't pretend with me, Eroica," he said as he crossed the room. "I'm not interested in your—" He waved a hand to take in the man's whole appearance. "Go preen yourself somewhere else." He picked up a small box and "accidentally" spilled its contents onto the floor. "Verdammt!"

Eroica's eyes grew wide as several medicine vials and hypodermic needles spilled out onto the floor. "Major, is there something you haven't been telling me?" he asked in amusement as he crossed the room.

Klaus was on his knees picking up the spilled contents of the box. He looked up in irritation. "It's an experimental drug, you idiot," he growled. "I'm thinking of giving it to the Chief, the fat bastard. He could use it."

Eroica's eyebrows went up as he knelt down to help pick up the scattered hypodermic packs. "You want to turn your Chief into a drug addict? Oh, Major, that's just so—"

Klaus sighed heavily and sat back onto his heels. "You really are malicious, aren't you?" he snapped. "It's an…appetite suppressant, if you must know. One injection a month apparently is all that's required." He had to look down quickly as the Earl's enormous eyes grew wide.

"That's…"

"Ridiculous, I know," the Major replied dismissively, making a show of looking around. "But there's been a huge boom in the weight control industry, and everyone is jumping on the bandwagon, as it were." He dropped a vial into the box. "These were stolen from a drug company to be sold on the black market." He turned to look under the furniture. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the Earl palm the vial he had just placed on top to the hypodermic packs in the box.

"So, I was hired to steal drugs?"

"You were hired to steal back the _formula_," the Major replied coolly. He reached under a chair to retrieve a vial he had placed there earlier. "That's all, I think," he said as he got to his feet. "Now, I just have to catalog everything." He noticed the Earl's eyes flicker when he said this. _Yes, you think I won't know that you took one, bloody idiot._

Eroica plucked up the vial the Major had just dropped into the box and made a show of looking at it. "Not very much in there," he remarked.

"That's a three month supply," the Major said sharply as he snatched the vial from the thief's hands and dropped it back into the box. "And_ you_ don't need it." He quickly replaced the lid and crossed to the table where the other papers had been packed. "Now, go annoy someone else," he growled as he dropped into a chair. "I have work to do."

Eroica made a show of brushing his hair out of his face. "Oh, very well," he sighed dramatically. "I'm getting—" He broke off as he was about to say he was getting hungry. He threw a sharp look over at the mirror and frowned.

"If you're bored, then go away," the Major snapped, not even bothering to look up.

"I need to check on my men anyway," Eroica said dismissively as he crossed to the door. He paused before the mirror one last time before vanishing from the room.

Klaus looked up at the sound of the door closing and leaned on an elbow, an evil smile coming to his face. He lit a cigarette, sat back, and started to chuckle. The Earl had jumped at the bait, bloody idiot. Phase two had gone off without a hitch. Now all he had to do was wait before implementing phase three.

* * *

Eroica was rather proud of himself as he strode into his hotel suite. It wasn't often he could get one over on the Major. He looked down at the vial he'd managed to steal right under the officer's nose. _Experimental appetite suppressant, is it? Well, this should put paid to all those horrible rumors about me getting… _The Earl shuddered just at the thought. _Me getting **fat.**_

"Oh, m'lord!" came a voice like fingernails on a blackboard.

"James, the mission is complete," Eroica said with a sigh, "and we'll be heading back to Bonn within a few hours."

Whatever protests James may have been about to make were stopped short when he saw the gleam in the Earl's eyes. "You've stolen something!" he cried happily. "I knew you wouldn't let me down!"

"James, I haven't stolen something you can sell," the Earl stated coolly. "It's something for me."

"Oh, my lord!"

Eroica gave him a piercing look. "Don't you think I deserve something for myself once in awhile, James?" he asked sharply.

James was obviously stung by the angry rebuke. "Um…well…er…"

"You must be knackered, m'lord," Bonham said, hoping to stop a crying fit from James before it began.

Eroica gave him a knowing smile and idly played with one of his long blond curls. "Yes, I am a bit tired, now that you mention it," he sighed. "Thank you for noticing, Bonham," he added sharply, glaring pointedly at James. He crossed to his bedroom. "I'm going to rest a bit. Call me when the Major starts screaming that it's time to leave."

"Yes, m'lord," Bonham grinned.


	2. The Earl Has Difficulties

**Chapter Two  
****The Earl Has…Difficulties**

Two months after the mission where the bait was taken, the Major learned Eroica was going to be in the same city as his next assignment. Before he could make his next move, he had to be certain the Earl had literally taken the bait. It was one thing for the man to steal it, and another for him to actually_ use_ it.

As usual, the Earl appeared to annoy him, but there was something missing in his demeanor. A lack of his usual enthusiasm in baiting the Major with sexual innuendo.

"Have you lost weight?" the Major asked suddenly when the Earl "accidentally" fell against him.

The question caught the thief completely off guard. "I…um, that is…" He took a moment to recover from the shock, finally making a show of pushing his hair out of his face. Klaus noticed that he seemed to be forcing himself to smile at him.

"I didn't think you noticed," Eroica replied.

The strain of keeping up the facade was palpable and Klaus smiled to himself. Then he drew a deep breath before implementing step three. "I've asked you this a hundred times before," he began slowly, "but this time, I want an honest answer."

Eroica's eyes grew wide, the sudden gravity in the other man's voice startling him.

"Why do you follow me? And don't give me all that bullshit about love."

_Oh, bloody hell, why does he have to bring that up now?_ the Earl thought wearily. He had been having a great deal of difficulty keeping up his usual appearance as an insatiable pervert. But when he was honest with himself, he had to admit that lately his heart just wasn't in it anymore.

Eroica smiled with effort. "Major, as you say, we've been over this a dozen times over," he sighed. "Words are just not enough, apparently."

The Major nodded, seeming to accept this answer. He gave the other man a piercing look, drew a deep breath, and said, "Then…perhaps you'll just have to show me."

Eroica's mouth dropped open and he was sure he had just heard wrong. He stood staring at the officer in stupefied amazement. _Bloody hell! I did not just hear that!_

"Ssssshow you?" the Earl stammered out finally.

"Yes."

This was just too overwhelming for words. _God dammit, why did he have to pick now?_ "Major…" Eroica began slowly, "are you asking…what I _think_ you're asking?"

Klaus felt his heart jump as the enormous blue eyes fixed themselves on him. He also wondered if his face was flushed as he fought back his panic._ No_, he told himself, all the outward signs were there, verifying that the Earl had taken the drug. His plan was working perfectly. He nodded, taking another deep breath to steady himself. "You have one day," he stated flatly.

"One day?" came the bewildered reply. "One day for what, exactly?"

"One day to…explain what you mean. To…" Klaus had to struggle to say, "To show me what you are talking about."

Eroica caught his breath, a hand going to his mouth. _Shit! Shit! Shit! Not bloody now, Major!_ "When?" he heard himself asking.

The Major could see the other man's growing discomfort, which only served to bolster his courage. "After this mission, when I return to Bonn. I'll contact you with the time and place."

By this time, the Earl's head was spinning. "Oh, my dear Major," he said breathlessly, "this is so sudden…"

"Are you backing out?" Klaus said sharply. "Afraid to put you money where your mouth is?"

"No, no, nothing like that," Eroica said quickly, waving a hand in the air. "I _do_ have an operation of my own underway, y'know."

Klaus nodded. "When?"

_**Now** you get anxious! Hells bells, Major, your timing sucks! _"Um, well…" came the hesitant reply.

The Major gave an impatient sigh. "When I get back to Bonn, I'll call you with the time and place," he repeated. "If you can interrupt your operations to fuck up my missions, you can certainly interrupt one to fuck me." _Christ, I don't believe I just said that._

Apparently, neither did Eroica, who was staring at the man as if he'd just grown a second head.

"Out!" the Major said sharply and grabbed the Earl by the arm, shoving him out the door. "I don't want to see your foppish ass until _after_ I contact you!" he thundered, slamming the door shut.

Klaus leaned his back against the door, running a hand through his hair. Then he noticed he was shaking and got hold of himself, crossing to the mini-bar and pouring himself a stiff drink. _Step three implemented,_ he thought, toasting himself. It was step four that would be the final part of his plan. After that, the faggot would be out of his life forever.

* * *

"Damn! Damn! Damn!" Eroica growled as he stormed down the hallway. _Why now!_ After all these years, the Major was his for the taking and he felt nothing. His lechery should be on overload but he felt…_nothing!_ _Nothing! _

"My lord, where have you been?" James whined the instant the Earl stepped through the door.

"Shut up, James!" Eroica snapped as he stormed into the room. "I'm not in the mood."

James was about to point out that he hadn't been "in the mood" for quite some time, but the dangerous look he received from the Earl caused him to close his mouth with an audible snap.

"We're going back to England," Eroica ordered as he threw his suitcase onto the bed and started throwing his clothes haphazardly inside.

"My lord?" Bonham ventured from his place at the door. "Has…something happened?"

Eroica looked up, his eyes blazing. "None of your bloody business!" he snapped. "Now get the team together. We're going home."

"Yes, m'lord," Bonham said meekly, exchanging a bewildered shrug with James. The Earl had been out of sorts for several weeks now. If he pushed for answers, he probably would only get his head bitten off again.

* * *

"I don't know why you insisted on seeing me, Lord Gloria," Doctor Roberts was saying as he held out a hand to his patient, inviting him to sit down. "You're perfectly healthy. In fact, I wish _all_ my patients were as health conscious as you are." He sat down behind his desk and studied the man as he took a seat.

Dorian smiled, tossing his hair back. "Thank you, Doctor," he said calmly, "but…that's not why I'm here." He cleared his throat nervously. "This is…rather embarrassing…"

"Come now, you know you can tell me anything."

"Yes." Dorian drew a deep breath. "I…have no interest in sex," he blurted out.

The physician's eyebrows went up. "I beg your pardon?"

Dorian felt his face flush. Never in his life did he imagine he would be saying what he just did. "I have no interest in sex," he repeated.

Dr. Roberts' eyes were wide as saucers. "Your lordship will pardon me for being shocked."

"I must confess to being shocked myself."

Dr. Roberts sat back in his chair. "I can only assume this is a recent occurrence?"

Dorian nodded. "About…two months now."

"You haven't suffered any physical injuries recently, have you?"

"No."

"Or changed anything in your diet too dramatically? No new, exotic foods?"

Dorian shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Actually, I've been trying to watch my weight."

The physician rolled his eyes. "Lord Gloria, you are the last man on earth I would expect to see here with a weight problem."

Dorian gave him a weak smile but did not reply. When he lowered his eyes, Dr. Roberts had a brainstorm. "Have you been taking something to control your weight?" he asked suddenly.

Dorian's eyes snapped up, his mouth dropping open.

Dr. Roberts gave a grunt. "What is it?" he asked sharply.

"I haven't any idea how to pronounce it," Dorian replied guiltily as he pulled the vial that he had stolen from the Major out of his pocket. He set it on the desk, feeling like he was back in school and had been caught pinching small objects from the classroom shelves.

Dr. Roberts slipped on his glasses and pick up the vial, struggling a moment to read the label. When he did, his eyes grew wide. "Lord Gloria, do you know what this is intended for?" he asked, looking up sharply.

Again, the Earl shifted in his seat. "The person I got it from told me it was an experimental drug," he admitted. "An appetite suppressant."

Dr. Roberts pulled off his glasses and sat back, putting the vial on the desk. "Did this person tell you want _kind_ of appetite it is intended to suppress?"

"I don't understand."

"This drug is indeed experimental," the physician began slowly. "It's used to…chemically castrate sex offenders."

Dorian's eyes grew wide as saucers. "What!"

Dr. Roberts explained that the drug on the desk had been experimented with by the Nazis. It reduced testosterone output, effectively suppressing a man's sex drive, or as the Earl put it, suppressing his sexual appetite.

By the time the physician was finished with his explanation, Dorian was breathing heavily, his hands clenched into tight fists. A drug experimented on by the Nazis during the war. Something a Neo Nazi expert would surely know about. "That bloody bastard!" he hissed out finally. "That Goddamn bloody bastard!"

"My lord?"

Dorian looked up, waving a hand in the air. "Never mind," he said dismissively. "Can the effects be counteracted?"

"Well, yes," the doctor replied. "Or you _could_ just wait for it to wear off."

"No!" Dorian said sharply. "I can't…function like this."

The doctor nodded, getting to his feet. "A steroid injection should do the trick," he said mildly.

"Steroids?"

"Oh, I know all the bad press they've been getting, but one dose isn't going to harm you. In fact, it should make you feel like your old amorous self again."

This brought a bright smile to the Earls face. "Then I'll gladly accept."

When Doctor Roberts left the room to get the injection, Dorian went to the desk, quickly looking over the notations the doctor had been making. He read the name of the steroid he was to receive and committed it to memory, along with the name of the "appetite suppressant."

He would remember that.

And he would remember from whom he got it.


	3. The Meeting

**Chapter Three  
****The Meeting**

It was two weeks after the Major had made his extraordinary challenge before he contacted the Earl, giving him directions to a secluded cabin outside of Bonn as well as a time and date for them to meet there.

_He doesn't want anyone to see us,_ Eroica had thought when he hung up the phone. _No matter._ The secluded location was perfect for what _he_ had in mind. He went to the cabin several days ahead of time, breaking in easily. Then he went through it meticulously. No doubt the Major would have his own plans, but Dorian wanted to be prepared. The Major was going to be in for a very big surprise the day of their "meeting."

"I was almost afraid you'd decide not to go through with this," Dorian said as he got out of his car and looked around before fixing his gaze on the Major, who was sitting on a chair on the front porch. It was obvious from the pile of cigarette butts littering the ground that he had been waiting for the Earl for some time.

Klaus looked the other man up and down, giving a non-communicative grunt before getting to his feet. "You might as well come in," he said gruffly.

_Oh, this is a promising beginning,_ Dorian thought. He smiled broadly, making sure that it appeared forced before nodding. "Just want to get it over with, don't you, Major?"

The Major did not reply, leading the way into the cabin.

The Earl stood on the threshold a moment, looking at the room as if it were the first time. It was all dark wood and leather and seemed exactly the kind of place where the Major would feel at ease. "Very cozy." He turned to the Major. "I didn't expect you to have such comfortable tastes." A pause. "This must belong to someone else."

The Major's eyes flickered. "My father used to come here when I was a boy," he explained tersely.

"Oh, then I'm honored," Dorian replied and took a seat on a large leather sofa. "And, just for today, could we use first names?"

The Major's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"You told me I have one day to show you exactly why I pursue you, correct?"

"Yes," came the cautious reply. "That does not mean…"

"Only for the day," the Earl cut in. "I'm Dorian. Not Eroica. Not Lord Gloria." The Major opened his mouth and was quickly cut off. "And definitely_ not_ idiot, pervert, or faggot."

The Major's mouth snapped shut with an audible click. After a minute, he drew a deep breath. "Fine. Only for the day."

"Well, that's that settled," Dorian said happily, leaning back on the sofa. "Now, _Klaus,_ why don't you offer me a drink?"

_I'd rather offer you a dose of poison, bloody faggot,_ Klaus thought as he went to the bar. "What do you want?"

"Oh, you're _such _a gracious host," Dorian said sarcastically.

_Don't push your luck, Eroica._ Klaus turned a dangerous look in the Earl's direction. "I'm not the one who has to prove anything," he reminded sharply.

"Quite."

The Earl rose to his feet and went to the bar, looking over its rather impressive contents. _You **have** been busy,_ he thought admiringly. The bar had been practically empty when he checked the cabin earlier in the week. "Gin and tonic," he said at last. "Nothing too heavy this early in the evening."

Klaus gave a grunt and made the drink, handing it to the other man.

"Nothing for you?" Dorian asked mildly.

"I'd rather keep a clear head for the moment," Klaus replied guardedly.

"Good idea." Dorian made a show of looking around the room. Then he looked over at the Major and smiled. "Relax, I'm not gonna tear all your clothes off and rape you in the middle of the living room." _I have other plans._

Klaus gave him an annoyed look, but had to admit that he was still extremely uncomfortable with this arrangement, despite the fact that he had made it himself. "Let me show you the house," he said suddenly, hoping to break the unbearable tension that was building in the room.

"Lovely." Dorian took a sip from his glass. He followed his reluctant host through the small cabin and then up the stairs to the loft, where the bedroom was located. In fact, the only thing on the second floor was the bedroom and master bathroom.

"You know, Klaus, I'm not _only_ interested in sex," Dorian said calmly, trying to keep all hint of innuendo from his voice.

Klaus felt his face flush, being keenly aware of where they were standing. "That's not how it appears to _me,_" he stated flatly.

"I know," Dorian sighed, setting his glass down. "But lately, it just seems as though it's…well, _boring."_

Klaus felt his heart jump and tried to keep his face neutral. "Really?"

"Yes." Dorian was sauntering aimlessly around the room, idly glancing out the window. "I just…haven't been interested." He threw a quick look over in the other man's direction, seeing he now had his undivided attention. He turned, placing a hand on one of the thin, spiraling bedposts. "Thank you for not laughing at me," he added, lowering his eyes in apparent embarrassment. "Most people would find it funny to hear Eroica admit to not being interested in sex anymore."

By this time, Klaus had to concentrate to keep his breathing in check. "What are you telling me?" he asked in an accusing tone. "That after all this time, you're not interested anymore?"

"Oh, Major, you're not hurt, are you?" Dorian asked as he crossed to him.

"Hurt?" The question completely bewildered the officer. _Are you mad! I'm ecstatic!_

Dorian came to stand before him, looking him in the eye. "Perhaps hurt isn't the right word." His voice hardened as he said, "How about relieved?"

"Lord Gloria—" Klaus's words were cut off when he was struck on the side of the head with a very large, heavy object.

"Dorian! My name is Dorian, you Goddamn bloody conniving bastard!" Dorian gave the stunned officer a savage kick in the stomach. "How do you like being smacked around, _Major!"_ he thundered.

"Bastard," Klaus growled, struggling to his hands and knees. "I'm gonna kill you." He got no further as he was knocked onto his back by a kick to the face. The next thing he knew, he was getting a facefull of Eroica's signature knock out gas.

"Oh, no, _Major._ I'm only just warming up."


	4. Revenge

**Chapter Four  
****Revenge**

When Klaus finally opened his eyes, he found himself spread-eagled on the bed and tied to the spiraling bedposts. As surprising as this was, it was not as startling as the fact that he was still fully clothed. He had expected the Earl to strip him after he'd rendered him unconscious.

He looked around, his eyes falling on the Earl, who was sitting in a chair across the room, smoking a cigarette and watching him with an intensity Klaus had never seen before. "What are you gonna do to me?" he demanded, pulling at the ropes securing him in place.

A small smile curled the edges of Dorian's mouth, the look on his face sending a chill down the Major's spine. The Earl was a devious and malicious man who had obviously put the pieces together and figured out what the officer had done to him.

"I'm gonna make you squirm, Major," came the cold reply.

Klaus's eyes grew wide. That could mean just about _anything_ where the Earl was concerned, but normally it meant… When Dorian produced a large pair of scissors, he only confirmed the Major's worst fears.

"You wouldn't," Klaus said, pulling furiously at his bindings.

"Oh, but I would," Dorian replied coldly. He straddled the man's hips, unbuckled his belt, pulling it off and tossing it to the floor. Then he pulled his shirttails out, ripping the material at the same time. "You always accuse me of wanting to do this, _Major,_" he said to the struggling man as he took the scissors and sliced open his shirtsleeves. "Now, you're getting your wish."

"Bloody faggot!"

To Klaus's astonishment, Dorian slapped him across the face. "Shut up, you fucking hypocrite!" he snarled with uncharacteristic vehemence. "You gave me a _day _to prove myself after you made _sure_ I was chemically castrated." He tore the material of the Major's undershirt as he said this, yanking the material from beneath the stunned officer.

"Now, do you want me to show you how I _really_ feel about you, Major?_"_ the Earl spat as he split the material on his captive's trousers. "Because I've decided that I _hate_ you!" He punctuated this remark by yanking the trousers off and throwing them to the floor, leaving the stunned Klaus in his underwear.

"What do you say to all that?" Dorian challenged.

"I say I'm gonna kill you!" Klaus thundered as he fought like a wild man.

"That's what you always say," the Earl replied in a bored tone. He reached under the bed, pulling out the box he had placed there earlier.

"What the fuck is that?"

Dorian gave him a small smile and held up a syringe. "Y'know, I've realized something else, Major," he said as he cleaned the other man's arm with alcohol "You _knew_ that stuff would work on me, because you've been using it _yourself_, haven't you?"

"What? Don't be an ass."

Dorian stabbed the needle into the officer's arm. "But I found out how to counteract it."

"What're you doing?" the appalled Klaus demanded. "Bloody bastard, now you're giving me _drugs!"_

"It's what my doctor used to help counteract that stuff you gave me."

"_I_ didn't give you anything! You stole it, you bloody thief."

"But you set me up. Admit it."

Klaus responded with nothing more than an angry growl and continued to fight the ropes.

"Fine."

Dorian climbed up onto the bed between the Major's spread legs. "Now, if I'm to ravage you properly," he said calmly, "I need to get things prepared while that injection takes effect." He pulled out a tube of lubricant and waved it in the air.

"Nein!"

Dorian watched as the officer strained against the ropes, his muscle rippling from the effort. _Dear God, the man is beautiful._ "Oh, Major, you're so amazingly sexy when you fight me, did you know that?"

"Don't tell me that, you bastard!"

Dorian used the scissors to remove the last barrier, the man's underwear. Then he sat back, his eyes glistening. "Oh, _Major!_" he gasped, a hand going to his mouth. "How absolutely _magnificent._ I never would've imagined…"

Klaus froze, his eyes growing wide. He felt his face flush as the Earl sat back to admire his manhood. "Don't you look at me like that, you pervert!"

"If I could have that stuffed and mounted…"

The horrified officer's eyes grew even wider. "You're not stuffing and mounting anything, God dammit!" he screamed, returning Dorian to reality, and reminding him what he was supposed to be doing.

"Aaargh!" Klaus threw his head back, his body going rigid as a slick finger entered his body, probing slowly and carefully. "You son-of-a-bitch, I'm gonna kill you!" he snarled between clenched teeth.

"How?" Dorian asked suddenly.

The question took Klaus completely off guard. He thrashed and squirmed as the finger probed deeper. "Was?"

"You're always threatening to kill me," Dorian said matter of factly. "How are you planning to do it? Or is it just an idle threat?"

_You want me to think while you have your finger up my ass?_ Klaus caught his breath as Dorian touched a bundle of nerves deep inside him that sent a shock wave throughout his whole body. He threw his head back again and gave a scream that was a combination of pain and rage when a second finger joined the first, going on to struggle even more violently, pulling with all his strength at the ropes binding his hands.

"I knew it," Dorian sighed. "All talk and no action." He looked up sharply when he heard a loud crack, seeing one of the thin bedposts lose the battle against Klaus's unrelenting assault. He let out a sharp cry when Klaus grabbed him by the hair. "Get your fingers **_out_ **of me," he snarled.

Dorian's eyes were as wide as saucers and he quickly withdrew his fingers, wiping them on the sheets.

"Now, untie me," Klaus ordered, keeping a firm grip on the Earl's hair.

"Major…"

"Shut up!" Klaus thundered, yanking the hair in his fist and pulling a terrified yelp from the other man.

Dorian did as ordered, freeing the Major's other hand and then moving on to his feet. The officer got to his feet, still holding the Earl firmly by the hair. "Get one of those ropes off," he ordered. "Now!"

Dorian shakily obeyed, untying one of the ropes at the foot of the bed. The next thing he knew, he was being thrown onto the bed. His hands were pulled roughly behind his back and tied together. He looked up as Klaus removed the rope from his wrist and then the other bedpost, knotting them together. "Sit up!"

The Earl did as ordered and sat trembling as his bound hands were secured against his body. It seemed, rather than calming the officer, this only fueled his outrage all the more.

"You think this is some kind of game!" Klaus snarled as he shoved the Earl back onto the bed. Then he roughly yanked his tight fitting pants from his body. When they were followed by his underwear, Dorian _really_ started to get scared. Up until this point, he had assumed the Major was just going to turn him over to the police. Suddenly he was being flipped onto his stomach and dragged to the edge of the bed.

"Major!" Dorian cried in horror, finding his voice at last. "Please, don't." He tried to struggle, but the officer was incredibly strong, even more so now that he was in a full-blown rage, which was surely being fueled by the injection of steroids. His hand was locked on the Earl's neck, holding him down.

"You like it up the ass, you bloody pervert?" the Major growled, kicking the Earl's legs apart. Then he reached down with his free hand, bringing his sizeable member to an even more sizeable erection.

Dorian felt his heart in his mouth when he felt what could only be the head of the other man's enormous cock touching his body. All he had to do was give a sharp thrust and it would be inside him. And considering its size, it would do some very serious damage to the unprepared Earl's body.

"Major," Dorian whimpered, "please, not like this…" _God, he's gonna rape me and then he'll kill me._

Klaus stood frozen, the head of his erection pressing against the Earl's body, threatening entry any second. He kept the petrified man pinned face down on the bed, feeling his body trembling beneath him. Then he pressed forward just enough to separate Dorian's ass cheeks, the threat of entry imminent.

The Earl gave a horrified scream. "Major, please, no!" he begged, pulling vainly at his bindings. "You'll tear me apart!" The pressure only increased and he collapsed into tears as his terror overwhelmed him.

For a single frozen moment, it seemed as though Klaus would make good on his threat and rape the Earl. Then he gave a loud growl. "Damn you!" Klaus released his grip on the petrified man, taking a step back before sitting down on the floor. "Look what you've driven me to! You've made me so crazy, I'm turning into a Goddamn _rapist!"_ He snatched up his torn shirt, pulling out his cigarettes and lighting one. It was only then that he realized he was shaking himself. Whether it was from the realization of what he had almost done or his outrage at the Earl, he could not say. Both, probably.

Dorian slid onto the floor and sat leaning against the bed, unable to stop crying as relief visibly washed over him.

The pair sat this way for several minutes. Dorian didn't dare speak once he'd managed to stop crying. He pulled himself into a tight ball and sat meekly by the bed, watching in trepidation as Klaus fought to regain control of himself.

Klaus suddenly looked over at the Earl, seeing him flinch and look away as he did so. He sighed heavily and got to his feet, going into the clothes closet where he put on a robe and a pair of pajama pants. A moment later, he returned and untied the Earl's hands.

"I'm gonna be sick," Dorian said quietly.

"Not on my hardwood floor," Klaus snapped. He pointed to the bathroom. "In there."

Dorian vanished into the next room where he emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He wasn't sure what to expect when Klaus appeared next to him. He jumped when there was a nudge at his shoulder and looked up to see a glass of water being offered to him. He gratefully accepted it, swirling it around to get the taste of bile out of his mouth. Then he leaned against the toilet again, still dazed and shaking.

"You gonna be sick again?" Klaus asked in a remarkably gentle voice.

Dorian closed his eyes. "No." Another nudge on his shoulder.

"Get dressed."

Dorian opened his eyes to see his pants being offered to him. "Major, I…"

"No words," the officer said sharply, throwing his cigarette butt into the toilet. "Get dressed."

Dorian nodded and did as he was told. He got shakily to his feet and then followed the Major back into the bedroom where he put his shoes back on. Then they went down the stairs. The Earl was sure the next thing to happen would be for him to be thrown out the front door and into the night. Instead, Klaus went straight to the bar and made up two very stiff drinks. He wordlessly handed one to the Earl before knocking his own back in one go.

Dorian took a tentative sip and winced. Whisky. Very _strong_ whisky.

"Not to your taste?"

"Not…really…" To the Earl's surprise, the glass was removed from his hand.

"How about cognac?"

Klaus saw Dorian's eyes light up and nodded, pouring him a glass of cognac. He took the Earl's whisky and went to sit down in a large leather easy chair where he sat silently sipping his drink.

Uncertain what else to do, Dorian sat down on the couch. He sipped the cognac, purposely avoiding looking in the Major's direction, but feeling his intense gaze on him.

"It's all got fucked up, hasn't it?" Klaus said at last, causing the other man to look up, his eyes wide. "We need to end this or we're gonna kill each other."

Dorian sat staring, uncertain what to say. He was afraid anything he might say would be taken the wrong way, especially after what had just happened upstairs.

Klaus sat back and closed his eyes, sighing heavily.

After several very long minutes, Dorian said meekly, "So…what do we do?"

Klaus opened his eyes, giving him a steady look. "Damned if I know," he replied, finishing the last of his drink. He got to his feet, going back to the bar. "Right now, I plan on getting very drunk."

Dorian blinked. Then he nodded, crossing back to the bar. "I think I'll join you."


	5. There'sMore Than One Way To Get Hammered

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** While being necessary to the plot, this chapter, for the most part, is purely gratuitous because I think the boys are so adorable when they're hammered.

**

* * *

**

Chapter Five  
**There's More Than One Way To Get Hammered**

"'S all gone," Klaus said, putting the neck of the empty whisky bottle up to his eye so he could look down its length to confirm what he could already see through the clear glass.

"'S cuz you drank it," Dorian replied logically.

Klaus gave him an unfocused look and seemed to consider his words very carefully before he gave a nod of agreement. "Y're right. I did." He tossed the empty bottle onto the floor beside his chair.

"Y'know something, Major?" Dorian said with all the seriousness of one who is totally hammered. "Y're beautiful."

Klaus rolled his eyes and tried to look disapproving. "No 'm not," he slurred. "Women're 'sposed to be beautiful." He gave the Earl a devilish look. "'S'at why y'think y'love me? 'Cuz y'think I'm beautiful like a woman?"

Dorian rolled his own eyes and tried to stand but only managed to end up seated on the floor. He looked down at himself and then back up again. "Major," he said seriously, "I think I'm drunk."

Klaus gave a snorting chuckle in response. "Th's the trouble with you English," he said contemptuously. "Can't hold yer liquor." He tried to stand himself, fell over and ended up lying on his back, his head almost beside the Earl. "Y'see? Now y're upside down."

Dorian leaned over to look into the man's face. "Major Klaus Heinz von dem Eberbach," he said in mock disapproval, "I do believe y're drunk."

"Y'do, do you?" Klaus countered, staring up at him from his place on the floor.

Dorian closed his eyes and nodded like a small child, his hair falling into this face as he did so.

Klaus thought this over a moment and concluded that the Earl was probably right. "We should eat," he said firmly. "'S not good to drink on 'n empty stomach."

"Yeah. I'll cook!"

Klaus started to chuckle and Dorian looked down at him again. "Y'don't think I can cook?"

"Aren't you 'fraid of dishpan hands?" Klaus snickered.

Dorian sat back, closed his eyes, and folded his arms. "I cook. I don't do washing up," he said indignantly.

This was apparently quite amusing to the Major, who continued to snicker.

Dorian looked into the officer's face, forgot the biting come back he was going to say, and smiled. "I still think y're beautiful," he said at last.

"And I still think y're an idiot. So there." So saying, Klaus burst out laughing.

"Beast!" Dorian tried to hit the Major's chest with his fist and only succeeded in overbalancing himself. He ended up lying on the floor beside him, giggling like a fool.

"See?" Klaus said in a triumphant tone as he struggled to sit up. "I was right. Y're an idiot."

This only made Dorian giggle all the more.

Klaus sat looking down at him a moment. "Com'on," he said in as forceful a tone as he could manage. "We need t' eat. Y'can't cook on'a floor." He leaned over to help the Earl up.

"I'd rather eat you," Dorian purred. He reached up, grabbed the other man by the shirt, and pulled him down to kiss him.

The stunned Major made several noises of protest, but did not push away. In fact, he started to respond, leaning further into the kiss.

Dorian let go of the shirt and smacked his lips. "You taste like booze."

"So d'you."

"Mmmm. 'S good."

Klaus sat thoughtfully a moment. "If you say so."

Dorian's mouth dropped open, his eyes wide. "Bastard!" he cried, giving the other man a shove on the shoulder and knocking him to the floor again. "I'll have you know I've been called a fantastic kisser," he said proudly.

Klaus snorted. "Not by me."

"Is 'at a challenge, my dear sir?" the Earl asked as he struggled to sit up again.

"Y're drunk."

"So're you!" Dorian flopped on top of the Major, took his face in his hands, and kissed him hard on the mouth, trying to put all the passion he had ever felt for the man into the single kiss. When he sat back, he smiled at the dazed expression on the Major's face. "There. Now what d'ya say? Was'at fantastic, 'r what?"

To his astonishment, Klaus put a hand behind his neck and pulled him down, kissing him with more fire than the Earl ever thought possible.

When Dorian managed to get his breath back, he sat staring at the officer in amazement. "Major! Was 'at really you?"

Klaus seemed just as surprised by his own actions as he sat up on his elbows. "Must've been."

Dorian laughed, flopped down onto his lap. "I love you," he sighed.

Klaus rolled his eyes. "Y'gotta funny way a showin' it."

"I just kissed you!"

Klaus shook his head, waving a hand in the general direction of the stairs. "No, b'fore." He looked down at the man in his lap. "Were you _really_ gonna rape me?"

Dorian sighed heavily. "No. I jus' wanted t' make y'squirm," he admitted. "I was gonna knock you out again and leave after I'd pissed y'off."

Klaus sat back and thought this over, nodding. "I should kill you, y'know?"

"Y'still can. The night's young."

"Good point."

Dorian sat up and gave the officer an amorous look. "I think we should sober up."

"Why?"

"Cuz if we don't, I'm gonna seduce you while I'm… And you're… We're drunk," Dorian concluded seriously, flopping into his lap again. Then he paused, wondering if that had actually made any sense. "Anyway, I don't wanna do that."

Klaus gave this very serious thought. "Okay." He shoved the Earl off his lap and struggled to his feet. "Let's eat, then."


	6. Have We Met?

**Chapter Six  
****Have We Met?**

Klaus opened his eyes and then immediately wished he hadn't, his head throbbing the instant the light registered in his brain. _Just how much did I drink?_ He groaned, rolled over, saw the Earl beside him in bed, and let out a loud yelp, which he also regretted.

Dorian started awake, a hand going to his throbbing head. "Not so loud, James," he muttered.

"You idiot, I'm not James," Klaus snapped and he sat up. He was relieved to find he still had the robe and pajama pants on. He pulled the robe around himself as he got out of bed.

Dorian was staring up at the other man, being just as surprised as he was. "Major?" he said as he sat up, a hand going to his aching head. "Oh, God, my head…" he moaned. "What the hell was in that cognac?"

"You bloody pervert," Klaus snarled. "You get me drunk—"

"I did not!" Dorian protested in as loud a voice as his hangover would permit. "It was _your_ idea to get drunk!"

Klaus's eyes narrowed. "How did we end up in bed together?"

Dorian looked down as if he suddenly realized he was in bed. "I have no idea. I vaguely remember something about not being fit to drive." He looked up at the all too familiar panicked expression on the other man's face. "Major, don't you think we're a long way past your usual panic attacks? We tried to _rape _each other yesterday, incase you'd forgotten."

Klaus closed his eyes, a hand going to his pounding head. "Gott, I need another drink."

Dorian gave him a sympathetic look and climbed out of bed, finding himself fully dressed. _Obviously,_ nothing had happened. "Do you have anything in the kitchen to make a decent breakfast?"

"How can you think about food?" Klaus groaned.

_I didn't drink a whole bottle of whisky._ Dorian kept this thought to himself as he made his way to the kitchen, stopping in the downstairs toilet on the way. A few minutes later, Klaus joined him, having changed into normal clothes. Dorian checked himself before remarking on this. Things were already bad enough.

"I'm a wiz at eggs, bacon and sausage," he said as he looked in the refrigerator. "Check that, no bacon."

Klaus nodded absently as he sat down at the table while the Earl fussed with the breakfast preparations.

"How about some coffee, Major?"

"I would murder for a cup of coffee," the officer replied.

"That is a very ominous statement coming from you."

Before Klaus could think of a suitable reply, the teakettle was whistling for attention, causing his head to throb again.

Dorian set a jar of Nescafé on the table, placing a mug beside it. He then set down some aspirin next to a glass of water. He grabbed the kettle, turning back to see Klaus mechanically measuring out the coffee into the mug. As soon as he finished, the water was poured into the cup.

"Thank you," Klaus said dully as he stirred the coffee.

Dorian blinked. "You're welcome."

"Your sausages are burning."

"Oh, Lord!" Dorian spun around, turning down the heat under the pan. Then he expertly flipped the eggs in the other pan. "I was once courted by one of the best chefs in Paris," he said conversationally. "He thought if he taught me how to cook properly, I would go to bed with him."

Klaus's eyebrows went up. "If?"

Dorian flipped the eggs onto a plate, quickly adding several sausages before going on to add a few slices of toast. "The man was a pig," he snorted.

Klaus sat back, looking at the Earl as if seeing him for the first time.

When Dorian turned back, he did a double taken when he saw the amazed look on the officer's face. "What?"

"I've never seen you like this before," Klaus said finally.

"Like what? Cooking?" Dorian finished preparing his own breakfast and took a seat opposite the man who was still staring at him. "I seem to remember making something to eat last night."

"No. I don't mean cooking. I mean…normal."

Dorian grinned and pushed his hair out of his face. "My darling Major, we both know I'm anything but normal."

"Don't do that, Dorian," Klaus said sharply, regretting having raised his voice. He put a hand to his head and closed his eyes a moment. "Don't hide behind that…_pervert."_

The Earl's mouth dropped open and he found it was now his turn to stare at the other man. "You called me Dorian," he said in a small voice.

"I know."

"After all this time, why now?"

Klaus gave him a steady look. "Because this is the first time I've ever seen him."

Dorian sat back and studied the Major's face. Then he held out a hand. "How do you do. I'm Dorian."

Klaus looked at the outstretched hand and sighed. _Oh, what the hell?_ "How do you do. I'm Klaus."

Dorian gave him a dazzling smile that seemed to light up the whole room. "Klaus, I'd like to thank you for inviting me to your cabin for the weekend," he said as he started to tuck into his breakfast.

"Weekend?"

Dorian looked up. "I think you need to start this experiment again."

Klaus thought a moment. He hadn't really intended on starting the experiment at all, but suddenly found himself intrigued by the apparent stranger sitting across from him. "Yes," he said at last. He gave his own breakfast a dubious look and reached for the aspirin. "And I think I should do it sober."


	7. Starting Over

**Chapter Seven  
****Starting Over**

"I can see why you chose this location. It's very…secluded," Dorian remarked as he followed Klaus along a trail in the woods behind the cabin.

Klaus nodded. "I wish I could come here more often," he admitted, looking up at the canopy of leaves overhead. "It's a nice change from the city." He heard Dorian make a small noise and turned to look at him, thinking he had fallen. Instead, he was studying him with the same intensity he had in the kitchen earlier. "What?"

"Nothing," Dorian said, shaking his head. "You just, never cease to amaze me."

The words "you idiot" were on the tip of the officer's tongue and he had to stop himself before he uttered them. No, the Earl was behaving himself, so he would have to as well. "The lake should be just through those trees," he said, pointing up ahead.

The Major's memory did not fail him and within a few minutes, they were emerging from the trees and looking down at a small lake.

"Oh, Klaus," Dorian breathed, "it's beautiful." He looked around at the landscape, his eyes dancing. "If this were on canvas, I'd have it in my gallery."

Klaus did not reply. He lit a cigarette and silently watched the other man take in the area.

"I can see why your father liked coming here,"

Klaus nodded. "I think he used to bring my mother here when they were first married."

Dorian turned to look at him, a startled expression on his face. The last thing he expected was to hear anything on a personal level. "Do you remember your mother?" he asked tentatively. All he really knew was the Major's mother had died when he was very young.

Klaus shook his head, turning to look back at the lake. There was a sadness in his eyes that made Dorian want to hold him in his arms. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't've asked."

"'S okay."

Dorian followed the man's gaze and sighed. "I could stay here forever," he breathed happily.

Klaus turned to look at the Earl. He had always enjoyed the tranquility of the area, the solitude it afforded him. He had never imagined sharing his secret escape with anyone, least of all Eroica, yet here he was doing just that.

Dorian turned to the officer, his face radiant. "Thank you for bringing me here, Klaus." Without thinking, he planted a quick kiss on the man's cheek. Then he froze, a stricken look on his face. "Oh, God, Klaus," he gasped, pulling away, a hand to his mouth. "I didn't mean…"

Klaus had to fight the panic that flashed up in him. He _had_ to get this under control. There had been nothing sexual at all in the Earl's peck on the cheek. He knew this intellectually and had to get past itemotionally or he'd be running for the rest of his life. "I know what you meant," he said evenly. "'S okay."

Dorian gave him a guilty look. "You don't mind?"

"I…" Klaus sighed heavily. "I don't know."

_Well, that's a start!_ Dorian thought as he turned back to look at the lake again. After a few minutes, there was a rumble in the distance that caused them both to look up.

"We'd better get back," Klaus said firmly. "'S a long walk." He heard Dorian give a small sigh of regret and glanced over at him. He caught himself on the verge of telling him that he was welcome to come back. _What the hell am I thinking? I'm trying to get rid of the bloody idiot! Shit, I'm going mad._

* * *

By the time the pair made it back to the cabin, it was pouring down rain. They tromped in the front door, having run the last several metres. 

"Well," Dorian said breathlessly, shaking his dripping hair, "that was an unexpected adventure."

"At least no one was shooting at us," Klaus replied as he stripped off his soaking jacket and hung it on a peg by the door.

"Christ, that rain is cold," Dorian said as he rubbed his arms to try and warm himself. "It wasn't this cold this morning."

"Must be a cold front moving in."

Klaus noticed Dorian shivering as he started toward the fireplace. "You need to get out of those wet clothes before you catch pneumonia." He realized what he had said, and to whom he had said it, a split second after the words were out of his mouth.

Dorian saw Klaus stiffen visibly and stop dead in his tracks. He was obviously waiting for the usual sexual innuendo. _I'm not taking the bait. Today was just too perfect._ "Um…I know how this will sound," Dorian began slowly, "but, I didn't bring any clothes with me."

Klaus turned to look at him. Then he remembered what the Earl had originally intended. _Was that really only last night?_ He nodded toward the loft. "There're clothes in the closet upstairs."

"Bless you, Klaus. I'll try not to drip too much on the wood floor," Dorian said as he quickly went up the stairs.

"I'll see about getting a fire started. It's probably gonna be cold tonight." Klaus knelt in front of the fireplace and struggled to get the flue open. After a minute, and a few choice words, he had the damper open and was placing the wood on the grate. By the time the Earl came down again, the kindling was crackling away.

"Oh, that looks promising," Dorian sighed as he came up to stand beside the still dripping Klaus. He stood silently a moment before turning to look at him. "Thank you."

Klaus turned sharply. "For what?"

"Everything. For giving me a chance to prove that…I'm not just out to rape you." Dorian saw several things flash behind the dark green eyes that were staring back at him. "I love you, Klaus," he said, hoping it would punctuate his statement.

Klaus continued to stare at him. Then he put a hand behind the Earl's neck and drew him close, very gently kissing him on the mouth. Dorian froze, afraid to move, afraid to breathe, afraid to do _anything_ that would break the spell.

Klaus leaned back to look at the Earl's face. "Tell me again," he said softly.

"I love you, Klaus." The words were breathy and scarcely above a whisper.

Klaus drew a deep breath. "Show me."

It was all Dorian could do not to devour him right then and there. He took the officer by the hand and led the way up the stairs stopping before the bed. He looked up at Klaus's dripping hair and smiled, brushing it out of his face. Then he kissed him, very tenderly while running his hands over his wet shirt.

Klaus reached up to unbutton his shirt, but was stopped by the Earl, who silently shook his head before going on to do it for him, slowly. He was surprised when he saw there was no undershirt beneath. The shirttails came out and then gentle hands were caressing the officer's shoulders, sliding the material from his body as they moved down his arms. The shirt hit the floor with a wet smack.

Dorian moved his hands to Klaus's belt, hearing him draw a deep breath as he did so. He looked up, giving his nervous partner another tender kiss on the mouth. _I'm going to take this at **your** pace. No scissors this time._ He looked down again, unfastening the belt, and then the trousers.

Dorian closed his eyes when Klaus's trembling hands started to rub his arms. It was all he could do not to melt on the spot. He had to struggle to concentrate on what he was doing. He slid his fingers into Klaus's trousers and gave them a gentle push, allowing them to drop to the floor.

Taking his cue, Klaus stepped out of his shoes and trousers at the same time, closing his eyes as his underwear followed. He waited for the Earl's remarks on his size, but they did not come as the other man continued in his silent caresses. A quick flick and his socks were off, leaving him naked. He wondered if he should undress Dorian now and the reply came as his hands were moved into position. The Earl's shirt slid off almost of its own volition.

Within minutes, Dorian was naked before him, running his hands over him, kissing him tenderly. As soon as the Earl felt an unmistakable hardness starting to press against him, he moved slowly towards the bed. Klaus hesitated, obviously uncertain about what he was doing and why. It only took another tug on his hand and he followed.

Dorian laid down on the bed, patting the mattress beside him and waiting for the hesitant Klaus to lie down next to him. "Relax," he whispered into the man's ear, going on to kiss him again, moving down to his neck, then his chest. He could not help smiling as the other man drew a deep breath, his back arching automatically. Then a hand was rubbing his back, tangling in his hair. _That's it, just touch. It isn't always about sex._

Dorian noticed Klaus's pupils were fully dilated. The man was obviously getting aroused by all this. Dorian would've given his eyeteeth to just ravage the man, but that would defeat the whole purpose of the experiment. Then he felt Klaus's body slowly relaxing, accepting what was happening. Accepting the fact that Dorian wasn't a threat, even when he was lying naked beside him.

After half an hour, Dorian whispered, "Would you like me to show you more?"

Panic flashed across Klaus's face. His first instinct was to say no, of course, but that would only negate the whole reason for this…experiment. He had to know, so he nodded and prepared himself for the worst. "Relax." The word was hissed into his ear again by the warm gentle creature beside him.

Dorian got up, retrieving the box containing the lubricant. He took out a bottle of oil and put some on his hands, rubbing it on Klaus's chest. He smiled when the response was a deep intake of breath followed by a satisfied moan. He continued to rub the oil into Klaus's skin, moving slowly downward. Finally, he reached Klaus's magnificent cock and took it into his oil-slicked hands. He refrained from remarking on it again for fear of embarrassing the man whom he hoped was fast becoming his lover. Klaus caught his breath, his eyes snapping open, startled by the unexpected touch.

Dorian's wrist was suddenly caught in a very powerful grip and he stopped, looking up to see Klaus half sitting up, a panicked expression on his face. _Am I going too fast? _After a moment, Klaus relaxed and released his grip, lying down again;apparently satisfied that the Earl would not do anything he did not want him to.

After another minute, Klaus started to move his hips in time with Dorian's hands, thrusting up against his downward motion. _If I didn't know better, I'd say you'd done this before, _Dorian thought. Hehad expected Klaus to be a vocal man in bed, considering how vocal he was elsewhere, but he was surprisingly quiet. When he climaxed, it was with a deep intake of breath followed by a low moan.

As Klaus caught his breath, Dorian cleaned him off before lying down beside him again, gently kissing him on the cheek. Klaus turned to look at him, accepting a kiss on the mouth.

"I love you," Dorian whispered.

"Then show me."

Dorian sat up, his eyes wide. "I don't…"

"I'll tell you when to stop."

_Is he testing me?_ "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I need to know."

_Need to know what? _Dorian scowled as he looked down at the other man. Then he cleared his throat and nervously asked if he meant what he _thought_ he did. Then his eyes grew even wider when the answer was yes.

_Hells bells, he **is** testing me,_ Dorian thought as Klaus started to turn onto his stomach. He got hold of himself and then moved in between Klaus's spread legs. He could hear the man's heavy breathing and knew it was from fear rather than arousal. _I'm not going to hurt you, Klaus. Not this time._

He took more of the oil and applied it to the officer's back. Klaus gave a low moan in response, his muscles rippling beneath the Earl's hands. _God, he's so tense._ Dorian slowly massaged the knots from Klaus's muscles, feeling his body relax as he did so. _Yes, that's right, relax. I'm not gonna hurt you_. The massage continued down the man's back, to his bare buttocks and then down his legs.

Klaus moaned softly as the strong hands worked all the knots from his body. He found himself relaxing despite himself and was on the verge of falling asleep when he felt Dorian's hands stroking his bare backside. A moment later, a finger was probing him from the inside. He gave a sharp, alarmed cry, his eyes snapping open.

"Relax," Dorian said softly, one hand still stroking Klaus's back.

"I don't think…"

"Do you want me to stop?"

_Then I'll never know!_ Klaus fought himself for several seconds. Then he realized that, even though he was still impaled on Dorian's finger, it had stopped moving. The Earl was waiting for permission to continue. "No. Don't stop," he said before he buried his face in a pillow.

"Klaus, not everyone enjoys this," Dorian said firmly as he extracted his finger from the man's body. "I'm not gonna go on just because you think you have to."

_Shit, that just makes it worse! _Klaus thought helplessly_. Why the hell do you have to be so good about this? Damn you, Dorian, why didn't I just let you rape me and have done with it?_

After nearly a minute, Klaus drew a deep breath. "Don't stop," he said firmly.

"Then you have to _relax,_" Dorian said equally firmly.

"I'll try."

Dorian thought about this and shook his head. "No, you're not ready."

This refusal took Klaus completely by surprise and he turned to look at the other man, his eyes wide. In the space of a day, the Earl had gone from trying to rape him this way to refusing to continue. _"Now_ you get a bloody conscience?" he moaned, flopping back on the bed.

Dorian smiled and rose up on his knees, lying across Klaus's back, covering his shoulders with kisses. Then he started nibbling the man's ear.

"Stop, that tickles," Klaus protested, moving a hand to swat him away.

"I love you, Klaus," Dorian said calmly, sliding off his back in order to kiss him on the mouth.

Klaus gave him a steady look. "I think…I'm starting to believe you."


	8. Show Me

**Chapter Eight  
****Show Me**

"D'you think it'll rain the rest of the weekend?" Dorian asked as he sat down in a chair before the fire.

"Don't know," Klaus replied dismissively from the chair beside him. "I hadn't planned on staying this long."

Dorian let his head fall onto the back of the chair. "Mmmmmm. It's nice and cozy in here."

Klaus gave him a sideways glance, rolling his eyes. "Thank you for lunch," he said suddenly. "That chef you threw over taught you well."

Dorian grinned, nodding his head to accept the compliment. "Thank you."

"How many…?" Klaus broke off when he realized the indelicate nature of the question he was about to ask. It was difficult enough for him to ask questions rather than demand answers.

"Not as many as you'd think," Dorian replied knowingly. "I like to flirt, incase you hadn't noticed. But I'm very particular of who I allow in my bed."

"I'm glad."

Dorian's eyes widened. "Are you?"

Klaus turned a piercing look in his direction. "Yes. I always wondered if you were as particular about your…conquests as you were about your art."

"Klaus, I do **_not_** see you as a conquest."

"Why?"

"Because…" Dorian blinked and a hand went to his mouth as he suddenly realized what Klaus was saying. "Klaus, are you..." _Thinking of yourself as one of my lovers already?_ "God, how do I say this so it doesn't sound cliché?"

Klaus's eyes flickered and a small smile came to his face. "Show me."

"Oh, would that I could."

"We have all weekend."

Dorian met his gaze levelly and then got to his feet, wordlessly leading the way back upstairs.

* * *

"I don't understand how I'm not hurting you," Klaus said as his finger tentatively probed the inside of the Earl's body.

Dorian had decided a reversal might be called for, allowing Klaus to "feel" what was happening to his partner. Rather than lying on his stomach, Dorian was on his back, he legs spread wide. He was breathing heavily, clearly aroused by the experience. He wanted to tell Klaus that no matter what he did to him, he would find it pleasurable. Barring the attempted rape the day before, that is.

"Oh, God, that feels wonderful," Dorian moaned as the finger wriggled inside him.

Klaus was trying to find the "knot" Dorian had told him to search for, but was having some difficulty, not that the Earl seemed to mind. Then he touched what seemed to be a knot and Dorian let out a sharp cry, his back arching in response. "That's it!"

_Obviously,_ Klaus thought. He slipped in a second finger and watched in some fascination as the Earl writhed in response, moaning loudly with pleasure. He didn't know about Dorian, but he was finding this quite stimulating. Then he slipped in a third finger, slowly stretching the opening as he had been instructed in order to accommodate his…well, Klaus didn't want to think about that too much, yet.

"Klaus, now, please, now!" Dorian gasped out suddenly.

For a moment, Klaus froze. He knew what this meant, but wasn't sure if he could go through with it. _Come on, you've faced down the KGB, for Christ's sake._ He made sure he had a generous amount of lubricant on himself, drew a deep breath, and rose up onto his knees, pressing the head of his cock against Dorian's hot inviting opening.

"Yes," Dorian moaned, his hands trembling as they reached out to catch hold of Klaus's shoulders to steady him. "Slowly," he said as the steady pressure increased. "Very….Aaagh!" He threw his head back as Klaus entered his body with slow, tentative thrusts. With each thrust, Klaus moved deeper into the other man, feeling the heat of his body in a way he never expected. When he was close to burying the full length of his sizeable member into Dorian's body, he asked, "Am I hurting you?" _I **must **be hurting you!_

"Oh, it hurts so good!" Dorian gasped out, his fingers digging into Klaus's shoulders. "You're so…so… Oh, God!" He practically screamed when Klaus gave a final thrust, burying his full length into the other man's body.

Klaus stopped when he felt the spasms of the Earl's body. He listened to the other man's ragged breathing, watched his body writhing, and wondered if he were tearing him apart as he said he would the day before. He was keenly aware of the fact that he was more well-endowed than most. It was one of those memories from childhood that was burned into his memory. The Earl's reaction upon seeing his cock for the first time only verified this. If Eroica thought his was "magnificent," then he must be a freak.

Dorian was somewhat amazed that his inexperienced lover would know to stop when he did. He didn't even have to lock his legs around him to hold him into place. He was quite beyond the ability to give guidance at the moment, overwhelmed by the feeling of having the man's enormity completely inside him. _I didn't plan on **this!**_ _Dear God, the man's a natural. Why was he fighting for so long?_ Just as the spasms subsided, Klaus started moving again, slowly, tentatively, in fact, gently. _Gently! My God, the man can be so gentle when he wants to be! I think I love him all the more._

"Th…that's…good," Dorian managed between gasps. "Nnnice and…and…sssllooo." He arched his back as Klaus finally managed to strike his prostate properly, sending a shock wave through his whole body. "Yes! There, aim there!"

Klaus frowned but did as he was instructed, watching in fascination as Dorian started to move his hips, matching his tentative thrusts. He was having difficulty restraining himself, wanting to move faster, but knew if he did so it would injure the other man.

"Faster!"

Klaus paused. "Are you sure?"

"Please! Oh, Klaus, _please."_

Klaus started to move faster, then he started to increase the length of his strokes, drawing back just a tiny bit more each time. He soon discovered that this was enough to drive Dorian completely mad, so he continued until he was almost fully withdrawn from the man's body before he thrust back in, aiming for the point he was told to and causing the Earl to buck wildly and scream for more.

"Klaus, I'm… I'm…" Dorian's fingers tightened on Klaus's shoulders and he threw his hips up as he climaxed, giving a loud cry of delight. He wrapped his legs around the other man's body, holding him tight against him as he was completely overwhelmed by his orgasm. "Oh, God, you're wonderful!" he screamed.

The sensation this produced around the cock that was still buried deep inside him was enough to pull Klaus over the brink, and he caught his breath as he came with an intensity he had never experienced before. He leaned forward more, putting his weight on his hands and just let himself get lost in the explosion of sensations their shared orgasm produced.

The pair remained locked like this until Klaus became soft enough to feel he could safely extract himself from Dorian's body. Then he flopped down on the bed beside him, completely spent.

Dorian reached beside him, grabbing a towel he had placed there earlier and cleaning off his stomach. He rolled onto his side, cleaning his lover's penis before carelessly tossing the towel onto the floor. Then he flopped an arm over Klaus's chest. _**Now** you can consider yourself a conquest, _he thought happily as he kissed the man's cheek. "Well? Was it as _horrible_ as you thought?" he asked gently.

"Nein. It was…" Klaus paused. "I don't know in English."

"How about mind-blowing?"

Klaus turned, giving him a steady look before agreeing. "That'll do." Then he asked seriously, "Did I hurt you?"

"Oh, Klaus…"

"I know I'm not…normal," he said hesitantly.

"Oh, I can attest to that," Dorian said with a sigh. He saw what might be an injured look flash across the other man's face and his eyes widened. "Good God, Klaus, please tell me that isn't what's been holding you back all these years."

Klaus felt his face flush. "'S only…part of it."

"Oh, thank God. If it was only—" Dorian broke off, his voice dropping in pitch. "What's the other part?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out."

"I see." Dorian laid his head on the other man's chest and listened to the steady beating of his heart. "I'm glad you allowed me this opportunity to show you."

Klaus shifted to put his arm around Dorian and hold him close. This was not supposed to happen. He was supposed to be getting _rid_ of the Earl, not inviting him into his bed. _I am going mad._


	9. Rainy Days And Sundays

**Chapter Nine  
****Rainy Days And Sundays**

When morning came, Dorian awoke to find Klaus silently watching him. "Y'know," he said happily, "a few days ago, I'd've freaked out to find you watching me like that."

"I think I already did," Klaus replied, recalling his panic when he awoke to find himself tied to the bed.

The contemplative expression on his face made Dorian frown. "You're worried about something," he said astutely, bringing a surprised look to the other man's face. "Klaus, I won't embarrass you, if that's what you're worried about. I'm not going to go back to Bonn, stand on the tallest building, and scream that I bedded Iron Klaus."

Klaus gave him a small smile but did not reply.

"My darling Major, I love you," Dorian went on. "And as vain as I am, I'm not foolish enough to hope that you love me back. You love your job and your country before anything else."

"Dorian…"

Dorian held up a hand. "This little experiment of yours is _our _secret, Klaus. A lover's secret." He gave a dazzling smile at the expression that came to the officer's face at the word lover. "I don't kiss and tell," Dorian said, giving the man a quick kiss before slipping out of bed.

"That's good to know," Klaus replied playfully. "Otherwise, I'd have to shoot you."

Dorian turned back with an enormous grin on his face. "Why, Klaus, I've already had one big gun—" He had to duck as a pillow was thrown at him.

Klaus lay looking at the ceiling and tried to come to terms with what he was doing. _Why_ he was doing it. He had reached no conclusions when the Earl slipped back into bed and snuggled up against him, only to pull back. "You don't mind, do you?"

"No. Feels good."

Dorian heaved a sigh of relief, running a hand over the other man's bare chest, causing him to breath deeply again. He wondered if he had gone too far when his wrist was suddenly held in an iron grip.

"Wait."

Dorian frowned as the other man slipped out of bed. Then he smiled to himself when he heard the toilet flush. A moment later, Klaus was slipping into bed beside him, pulling up the blankets. "Shit, it's cold."

"The fire must've gone out."

Klaus gave the Earl a small smile before running a hand over his chest, then behind his back to pull him close. "Not here."

"Oh, you _are_ getting adventurous," Dorian purred, giving him a kiss.

"You feel…nice," Klaus sighed. "Your skin is so…flawless."

Dorian's eyes widened. _He never expected to hear that coming from Iron Klaus._ "Just enjoy," he whispered. "It isn't always about sex. Sometimes, it's just touch."

Klaus gave him a startled look, as if Dorian and this concept were mutually exclusive.

"You smell wonderful," Dorian said as he buried his face in the other man's hair.

Klaus gave a grunt. "I smell like cigarettes."

"You smell like sex, you beautiful man."

Klaus froze. Then he took Dorian's face in his hands so he could look into his eyes. "I have a request…" he began slowly.

An all too familiar, amorous look came to the Earl's face. "Anything, my darling Major."

"Stop that. I want _Dorian,_ not Eroica," Klaus said firmly. "No Eroica and no Major, okay? They fucked everything up Friday night."

Dorian gave him a look of mock petulance. "Not even a little?"

"Nein."

"Spoil sport."

"Idiot."

Dorian laughed as the "insult" came out as an endearment. "Alright, no Eroica." He laid his head on Klaus's chest. "I don't want to share you with anybody, anyway."

Klaus kissed the top of the Earl's head and then ran his fingers through the soft blond curls. "I never share," he stated flatly.

Dorian gave a contented sigh. "How about breakfast?"

A pause. _"That_ I'll share."

* * *

"Klaus, there _are_ other things you can…try," Dorian said firmly.

"Later."

Dorian sighed heavily, accepting defeat. _Why_ the man thought he had to go through with this, he did not know. "I think you might want to put a couple pillows under your hips."

"Why?"

Klaus felt a hand gently rub his sizeable penis and felt his face flush. "Oh."

Dorian could not help grinning at the man's embarrassment. He was so incredibly adorable when he was self-conscious. He helped put the pillows into position before sitting on the bed between Klaus's spread legs. He could see the man _still_ wasn't relaxing. As before, he started out massaging the tension from his body, pulling several groans of pleasure from him in the process. When he finished, he started to caress Klaus's bare backside, but did not attempt to penetrate him.

"Relax, my beautiful Major," Dorian whispered seductively.

Klaus gave a grunt and closed his eyes, thinking he knew what this meant. To his surprise, the next sensation he felt was a hand massaging his testicles. "Aagh!" he gasped, his head jerking up off the pillow.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" Dorian purred.

"Was…?"

"Ssssh, just relax and enjoy."

_Relax! You must be joking?_ "I think I can manage _one_ of those."

Dorian could not help but laugh. "Klaus, I do believe you're developing a sense of humor."

Klaus repositioned his pillow, flopping his head back down again. He responded with a grunt and a muffled, "You idiot."

Dorian teased at the man's ass, sliding a finger over the opening and around, caressing his bare backside with his hands. Then he very carefully slipped a slick finger inside.

Klaus gave another surprised gasp, but managed to at least partially relax this time.

"Tell me if I'm hurting you," Dorian said as he massaged inside the other man's body.

"Feels…strange…"

"That it does," Dorian agreed with a laugh. He found the knot of nerves and touched it gently, causing the other man to jump.

"Gott!"

"Like electricity, isn't it?"

"'S…I d'know," Klaus replied, his eyes wide. "'S 'at what I was aiming for?"

"Umm Hmmm. Whatcha think?"

"Can't."

Dorian laughed again. "Good. Don't think, just enjoy," he said, gently slipping in a second finger. This produced a low moan. Then Klaus started to move his hips in response, his back arching as the Earl's fingers gently spread the opening.

After several minutes, Dorian announced, "You're ready." _I hope you're mentally ready, because I'm sure as hell physically ready for you. _He received another low moan that he took as a yes and moved into position, making sure he had a generous amount of lubricant on himself. The last thing he wanted was to injure his virgin lover.

Dorian pressed against Klaus's prepared entry, gently gliding inside a few careful thrusts at a time.

Klaus drew a sharp breath as the initial thrust put the other man inside him. He expected it to hurt, to tear him apart, but it didn't. The Earl had prepared him expertly and was just as expertly entering his body, stopping with every spasm, moving on after they stopped. After a patient few minutes, Dorian had successfully buried the full length of his erection in Klaus's body. Then he waited, allowing him to get used to the sensation.

Klaus wasn't sure what he was feeling once the Earl was completely inside him. One of the things he did feel was panic at the thought of being impaled by another man's cock. _God, I'm a fucking faggot!_ he thought as he struggled to understand all the emotions raging through him. His breathing grew quicker as the Earl started to slowly thrust into him, carefully moving in and out so as not to injure him. _Fuck, why do you have to be so good about this, Dorian!_ _Why do you even care if I—?_

Dorian struck the prostate and Klaus let out a sharp cry of alarm.

"Klaus?"

"You…I…Gott!"

"I surprised you?"

"Ja."

"Do you want me to stop?"

Klaus's eyes grew wide. It had never occurred to him to ask Dorian to stop once he had entered his body. He had wrongly assumed that he would not. "Nein. 'S…I d'know."

Dorian grinned. It seemed to him that Klaus lost his English the same way he lost his German during sex. They were going to have to work on that. He started again, slowly, increasing the speed of his thrusts as soon as he was sure his lover could handle it. Within a few minutes, he was moving faster than he thought Klaus had been ready for, but the man was matching his movements as if he had been doing this all his life.

"Oh, Klaus," Dorian gasped, "I can't… God, I can't…" He had wanted to wait until his lover came first, but was unable to hold back any longer. His orgasm exploded through him and he gave a sharp cry, giving a final thrust into this lover and then emptying himself into his body. To his relief, he heard Klaus give a low groan and shudder, the Earl's orgasm having sent him over the edge as well.

Dorian lay panting on his lover's back, listening as his hammering heartbeat slowed down. _God, you're magnificent. I don't deserve you_. He waited until he has softened enough to pull himself from the other man's body and then cleaned himself off, going on to clean his lover.

Klaus caught his breath when Dorian started to clean him. Dorian stopped instantly and carefully checked for injuries. He didn't see anything obvious, but was sure Klaus would be sore for a while.

"Did I hurt you?" Dorian asked sheepishly.

"Probably. 'S okay. I'll live."

"Always so stoic."

Klaus gave a grunt. "Idiot."

Dorian laughed and gently finished cleaning the other man off. He knew after his own experience the day before that he himself had been a bit overwhelmed by his well-endowed lover. They were both going to have to take it slow. Good. That would help make his inexperienced lover more comfortable.

Then a terrible thought crossed Dorian's mind. What if the experiment was for Klaus to experience everything so he would never have to again? He looked down at the other man who was on the verge of dropping off to sleep. _Oh, God, Klaus, what are you making me do?_


	10. All Good Things

**Chapter Ten  
****All Good Things…**

"When do you have to be back in Bonn?"

Dorian had dreaded asking the question, as it meant the end of the experiment, and possibly the end of this glorious dream.

"Tomorrow morning," Klaus replied. "I won't be able to stay the night, but you're welcome to."

They were in the kitchen, eating lunch in an uncomfortable silence, both keenly aware of the fact that the weekend was quickly slipping away.

"Klaus," Dorian said firmly, "I want you to know that, whatever you decide after this weekend…" He closed his eyes, swallowing hard. "Whatever you decide, I'll go along with it."

Klaus sat back, studying him with his usual intensity. "Thank you," he said quietly. "This is…very confusing…"

"I know." Dorian gave him a small smile. "I'm sure you're gonna need time to sort things out."

_I don't know if I can ever sort things out!_ "Yeah." Klaus drew a deep breath. "It will have to be business as usual, you know."

"This never happened, is that it?"

Klaus saw the injured look on the Earl's face and knew what he was going to say next would only make things worse. "Yes. It will have to be like that." He paused. "A lover's secret, isn't that what you called it?"

Dorian nodded and drew a deep breath. He tried to eat, but suddenly seemed to have lost his appetite. When this thought crossed his mind, he started to chuckle.

Klaus scowled, finding no humor in the situation at all. "What's so funny?"

Dorian looked up, a hand going to his mouth as he tried not to laugh. "I've…Oh, God, Klaus." He finally had to squeak out, "I've lost my appetite." So saying, he collapsed into laughter.

The German continued to scowl, wondering if his English had suddenly failed him. Then he realized why the Earl found his lose of appetite so hysterical. That's what had started this whole ridiculous, terrifying, exhilarating mess in the first place. After a moment, Klaus was laughing, too, the tension that had been building between them finally broken.

Dorian wiped the tears from his face. "Tell me the truth," he said once he could speak, "have you _really_ been taking that awful drug?"

Klaus's eyes grew wide. "Gott, no! It was embarrassing enough just getting the vial I let you steal."

"Wait. There were lots of vials…"

"Yes, but there was only one on top when I turned my back on you."

"Oh, Major!" Dorian said sharply. "You are an evil man!"

A wry smile came to the officer's face. "And you're not? You were here beforehand, weren't you? Getting things ready?"

Dorian felt his face flush. "Guilty as charged."

Klaus nodded. "We both are." A sudden thought struck him and he sat back to look at the Earl again. "What the hell was in that injection you gave me?"

"Oh, God!" Dorian gasped, a hand going to his mouth. "It was supposed to counteract the drug."

"The drug that I never took…" Klaus's eyes narrowed. "What was it?"

"A steroid."

"What?"

"Testosterone, actually."

Klaus's eyes grew wide. "No wonder…" He gave the Earl a piercing look. "I could've killed you!"

"I know."

Klaus ran his fingers through his hair. "Where did you get the ridiculous idea that I was drugging myself?" He looked up, his eyes blazing. "Do you think you're that irresistible that I need to use drugs?" he said accusingly.

Dorian felt his heart jump as the hard edges started to appear on the other man's face and he realized he was watching Iron Klaus appearing before his eyes. "Violation," he said sharply.

Klaus blinked. "What?"

"No Eroica and no Major, remember?"

Klaus's eyes narrowed and he glared at the other man for several minutes. Then the angry lines started to fade from his face and he nodded. "You're right," he said at last. "We have all the time in the world to argue later."

"Yes."

Klaus got to his feet, clearing the table off and putting the dishes into the sink. "These can wait till later, too," he said as he turned back to face the Earl. "I think we have time for you to show me one thing more…"

_

* * *

Business as usual,_ Eroica thought as he listened to the Major ranting across the room. It had been more that three months since the "experiment" in the cabin._ Surely, the man had had ample time to work everything out._ Then the horrible thought that his original misgivings had been true flashed through Eroica's mind. That it had all been a way for Klaus to get a taste of what he had been missing, and then move on. 

_Does the man **really** have that low a libido?_ Dorian wondered as he watched the alphabets scurrying from the fury of their commanding officer. Had he only responded to the Earl so well because of the injection of testosterone? _Oh, God, what did I do?_

The Earl jumped when the Major suddenly thundered, "Eroica! Stop daydreaming and get your foppish ass out of here! We have work to do."

"I know that, Major," Eroica cooed, pushing his hair from his face as he pulled himself together. "But I can't do a thing until it's dark outside."

"Idiot, you think I don't know that?" The Major waved a hand across the room where Agent A was waiting at the door. "Go with A and get into position."

"Of course, Major." Eroica fluttered his eyelashes at him, raking his eyes over his body. "Do I have a choice of positions?" He could not help but grin at the high color of red the officer's face took on at this obvious double entendre. Clearly, Klaus had gotten the hidden meaning. He blew the Major a kiss as he flounced across the room.

"Bloody pervert!" the Major yelled after him.

* * *

Eroica thought the mission had gone quite well, considering. Now, suddenly, he was being called back for another ridiculously long and boring debriefing. _If I didn't want to just be near you, Major, I wouldn't've come back at all, _he thought as he stood outside the Köln-Bonn Airportwaiting for the car from NATO to arrive. 

A black Mercedes stopped in front of the Earl that he assumed must be his ride when the trunk popped open. One of the porters assisted him with his bags, smiling brightly at the generous tip he received. _I'll just have James bill NATO for that,_ he thought as he opened the back door.

"No, Lord Gloria, sit up front."

Eroica felt his heart in his mouth when he heard the familiar voice. "Major…?" he said, looking into the open back door.

"Well? Get in if you're going to."

Eroica got into the front seat, giving the officer a startled look. "I hardly expected _you_ to be the one coming to get me," he remarked. "Isn't this a job for a subordinate?"

"There's been a change of venue," the Major replied as he pulled out of the airport. "Your expertise is needed elsewhere."

Eroica tossed his hair back and tried to flirt, but his heart wasn't in it. "Major…_Klaus,_" he said seriously, "this is the first time we've been alone together since…" He left the sentence unfinished and received a quick sideways glance from the officer. "And you still haven't told me what your decision was."

"I know."

Dorian felt himself becoming very angry. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Oh, you bastard," Dorian growled, punching the other man on the arm.

"Hey, not while I'm driving!" Klaus reproved sharply. "You wanna cause an accident?"

"Oh!" Dorian crossed his arms and turned in his seat as much as he could to turn his back on the officer.

Klaus threw him another sideways glance but said nothing, lighting a cigarette instead. After what seemed like forever, Dorian could stand the silence no longer.

"Where are we going, anyway?"

"Do you really care?"

"No. Just making conversation."

Klaus gave a low grunt.

"How long until we get to wherever my expertise is needed?" Dorian asked astringently. His eyes narrowed as he saw a small smile curling the edges of the Major's mouth. "What are you…?" It was only then that he realized where they were. He turned sharply to look out the windshield just at the car came around a bend and the cabin appeared. Dorian caught his breath, a hand going to his mouth.

Klaus parked the car and gave Dorian a steady look before getting out. "Leave the bags," he said and then led the way through the front door. "I didn't tell you my decision," he said at last, turning to the Earl, "because the report you turned in was incomplete."

Dorian blinked. "Report?"

"On the…experiment. I've since learned that there are several gaps in it." Klaus crossed his arms, giving the man a look of mock disapproval. "You have the weekend to fill in as many of the gaps as you can."

Dorian stared at him a moment. Then he crossed the distance between them, took the officer's face in his hands, and kissed him passionately on the mouth. He felt his heart jump when Klaus's strong arms wrapped around him. "What if I can't fill in all the gaps this weekend?" he asked breathlessly.

Klaus smiled, turning to move toward the stairs. "Then I'll just have to call you back for another debriefing."

"Oh, Major!" Eroica said as the pair vanished up the stairs. "You know how _terrible_ I am with details. This could take _weeks."_

"Months."

"Years."

"Decades."

"Oh, Klaus, I love you so much."

"Show me."

The Earl's reply was a laugh of delight. _It will be my pleasure, my beautiful, magnificent, darling Major._

* * *

This story is followed by a sequel -- _Feet Of Clay._

* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.


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